


Unless you love me

by ImmaDeckYouInTheShnoz



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gaku comforts Tenn, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Minor Takanashi Tsumugi/Yaotome Gaku, Possibly Unrequited Love, Supportive Yaotome Gaku, Tenn is bad at feelings, Tenn is sad, Tsunashi Ryuunosuke - Freeform, emotional breakdown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmaDeckYouInTheShnoz/pseuds/ImmaDeckYouInTheShnoz
Summary: There was only so much that a heart could take before it started to break. Tenn thought he would never experience heartbreak, but that was before. He wanted to cry and scream, but he would never allow himself to stoop that low. Especially not in front of him. Not when he was looking at someone else with such adoration and love in his eyes."Please don't make me love you."
Relationships: Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Please don't make me love you

There was only so much that a heart could take before it started to break. Tenn thought he would never experience heartbreak, but that was before. He wanted to cry and scream, but he would never allow himself to stoop that low. Especially not in front of him. Not when he was looking at someone else with such adoration and love in his eyes.

_Please don't make me love you._

Tenn walked away, feeling his self-control shatter and the warm tears streaming down his cold cheeks. The world blurred, shameful and pathetic noises filling Tenn's ears. He kept walking, hoping his disguise was enough so that no one would recognise him in this state. Another sound joined the cacophony of sobs. It sounded almost like a name. His name. Tenn hesitantly turned around, only to be pulled into a warm chest. He looked up with tear-filled eyes and saw the one person he didn't want to see. Gaku. The taller man said nothing and simply smiled comfortingly at him. He felt strong arms wrap around his back and waist, warmth spreading throughout his body. Tenn did not reciprocate. Gaku continued holding him close, still not uttering a word. Sometimes he forgot how kind Gaku could be. He wished he could forget forever. At this rate, he would become dependent on it. Dependent on him.

_Please don't make me need you._

Tenn pounded his fists against the comforting chest. He hated Gaku for making him feel like this. He was Kujo Tenn. He was the perfect idol who constantly maintained his composure. He had no room in his life for something like this. He wanted Gaku to fight back, to say something that could make Tenn lose every feeling he had for the man in front of him. Gaku stayed silent and allowed Tenn to take everything out on him, calmly stroking silky pink hair and rubbing circles on Tenn's back. Tenn eventually stopped, relaxing into his leader's touch against his better judgement. He heard a sigh, which he assumed to be a sign of relief from his group member. He returned the embrace, burying his head into the soft fabric of the other's shirt. He wondered to himself if Gaku was getting tired of being cried on. Tenn looked up at Gaku's face, and while he was trying his hardest not to let any emotion through on his features, his eyes gave his true feelings away and made him extremely easy to read. Tenn could tell that he was extremely concerned. He thought he saw a flicker of a certain emotion in Gaku's eyes, but he knew that was impossible.

_After all,_ Tenn thought miserably, _he loves her._

"Let's go home, Tenn." Gaku murmured gently, breaking the silence.  
"I can go by myself..." Tenn replied in a voice that he could not even distinguish as his own.  
"I know you can." The warmth from the hug dissipated as Gaku stepped away from him. He immediately missed it.  
"I'm coming with you anyways.”

A hand clasped around Tenn's own. His eyes found Gaku's, whose grey eyes were twinkling with affection. He refused to let himself hope it was anything more than affection. Tenn knew that the best thing to do was to let go of the other's hand, but he decided to indulge himself in the small intimate action. They started walking back to their house. It felt surreal to him, holding hands with the person he held feelings for and walking through the city at night. He imagined this would have been what it would be like to be on a date with the most desirable man in Japan. He pretended in his mind that Gaku was his, that Gaku's heart didn't belong to another. It made it easier to walk alongside him. His fantasy ended when they arrived at the familiar house.

Gaku let go of his hand to unlock the door. Tenn stepped inside first, setting aside his shoes. He let out a sigh of relief as he heard a familiar light snore from one of the rooms. Ryuu was asleep. Tenn was glad that Ryuu would not see him in his current state. He immediately made a beeline for his room and went to close his door behind him. It wasn't closing properly, so he tried again. Yet again, Tenn failed to properly execute such a simple task. He attempted to slam the door shut.

"Ow! Oi brat, stop closing the door on my fucking arm!"

Tenn opened the door again and saw the object of his affection standing in the doorway, in agony and clutching at his arm as if it meant more to him than anything. He almost felt like laughing and was unable to prevent a small smile from slipping onto his features. Gaku continued complaining about the pain, rubbing his arm to try and reduce it. Tenn stifled a laugh, then pulled Gaku into the room. Tenn brushed his hair out of his face and stared up at the man, smiling, even if it hurt to do so. He would be happy. He would do it for Gaku. Anything for Gaku.

Gaku smiled back at him. "Let's go to bed, Tenn."  
Tenn's face heated up, a stark difference from the cold of the room. "W-What?"

The grey-haired man said nothing, then fell onto Tenn's bed. He sunk into the fluffy doona, laughing slightly, his hair fanning out around his head. Tenn stared, captivated by the man who had forced open Tenn's, long-closed heart. Gaku sat up, then extended his hand towards him. He hesitantly took it and was immediately yanked onto the bed. He made an indignant noise, landing next to Gaku with a soft thump. His bed seemed softer than usual, like a fluffy cloud. He turned to face towards Gaku, snuggling close to him. He could almost feel his groupmate's smile as he pulled Tenn close. Tenn felt himself losing consciousness, muttering a goodnight to Gaku. He heard Gaku whisper it back. He heard another whisper, but he dismissed it as his own imagination.

_After all, why would Gaku say "I love you"?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tenn wakes up. Gaku isn't next to him.

Tenn opened his eyes, briefly wondering where he was before remembering the events of last night. His thoughts were cloudy and his eyelids felt heavy. He reached out for Gaku. He felt the empty space beside him. He sighed, hauling himself out of bed. He walked out of Gaku's room, rubbing his eyes to try and wake himself up faster. When he looked up, he saw Gaku making breakfast. Soba probably. Tenn thought to himself. He stood still, watching Gaku cook. Tenn watched every ripple of movement carefully, studying the way the grey-haired man did everything. As Gaku pulled out the cooked rice that had just finished cooking, Tenn came to the conclusion that breakfast was not going to be soba. Suddenly, he felt something grip his shoulder gently. He turned around, startled, only to be met with a smiling Ryuu who Tenn could tell had just woken up.

"Good morning Tenn." Ryuu said with a yawn.  
"Good morning." He replied, mostly out of obligation.

Tenn went back to watching Gaku. Ryuu interrupted his Gaku-watching yet again, pushing Tenn to the couch. He gave the taller man the most irritated look he could muster. The response was an apologetic smile, which just amplified his irritation. Ryuu gently pushed Tenn onto the couch, feeling himself landing on the fluffy pillows below. Once again, he gave Ryuu an irritated look, but this time he also mixed it with a curious one. He made sure every expression he made was calculated to show exactly what he wanted to convey, and nothing more. There would never be a repeat of last night, he was sure of that. He would never allow himself to become a mess again.

Ryuu's smile became one of pity. "You're in love with Gaku."  
"...What?" Tenn replied, trying to keep his voice even. "I wouldn't be in love with that idiot. I have a higher chance of falling in love with you."  
A shake of the head. "Tenn, it's obvious. Gaku's noticed something off about you too."

Tenn's breathing quickened.

_Of course Gaku noticed, he saw me last night._

His heart rate rose rapidly.

_Does he know?_

He felt anxiety bubble up inside of him.

_Will he hate me?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_A sudden burst of pain shot through him. _  
_

He turned to glare at whoever had hit his head so carelessly, only to be met with a very stupid, handsome face. Gaku ruffled Tenn's hair, much to his annoyance. The light-haired nuisance held a plate out to him. It was omurice. Tenn's irritation and anxiety melted away, and he immediately grabbed the plate from the other man's hand. He started eating, noticing that Gaku's cooking skills had vastly improved in meals that weren't soba. He felt two sets of eyes staring at him. He turned and glared at them, causing them both to look away, Ryuu trying - and failing - to feign innocence by whistling.

After finishing his meal, he turned towards his group members. They were chatting and laughing with each other, casually grabbing each other's shoulders. Tenn watched, a strange feeling forming in his chest. He wanted that kind of casual intimacy with Gaku. Every single touch Gaku and Ryuu shared created an odd jolt of emotion to rush through Tenn. He realized that he really was desperate for Gaku's affection. He had always been cold to Gaku, giving him no reason to be nice to Tenn in return. He showed that he cared through small actions and occasional nice words. He knew Gaku was similar to him in that regard, and he always appreciated whenever Gaku did something marginally nice for him. Tenn found himself lost in thought, thinking about Gaku. As usual. He continued watching his groupmates until a small pinging noise interrupted his daily thinking-about-Gaku ritual. He turned to the source of the noise. Gaku's phone lay on the table, the screen lit up. There was a notification. It was from Takanashi Tsumugi. A sense of dread filled Tenn as the screen continued to light up. Gaku and Ryuu hadn't noticed. They were too busy laughing with each other to notice. Tenn reached out to grab it. He stopped when his hand was hovering above the phone. Reluctance filled him. He steeled himself, picking up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, and for the shorter chapter! I had writer's block...   
> I hope you enjoy the second chapter!


	3. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked up at the ceiling, drowning in his thoughts. They were swirling around in his brain, banging at his skull. Tenn thought it was almost like a horrible orchestra, a constant cacophony threatening to overwhelm him. He was being pulled deeper and deeper into his thoughts. Down, down, down, further into the darkness.

> **7:02 AM**
> 
> **Tsumugi**
> 
> Gaku-san?
> 
> I hope you and Kujo-san are alright...
> 
> I'm sorry about last night...
> 
> What I was about to say last night was...

Tenn's eyes widened as he read the final message. He felt a rush of emotions pour through him. He tried to comprehend his feelings as he read the message. He felt as though his thoughts were a tangled ball of emotions. Tenn reread the message, wondering if he had misinterpreted the meaning. His thoughts were interrupted as he felt the phone leave his fingers. He looked up at Gaku and immediately paled at how livid Gaku appeared to be. Tenn mentally added fear to his current list of emotions.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Gaku yelled furiously.  
Tenn flinched at the sheer volume and intensity of Gaku's fury. "You kept getting notifications."  
"That doesn't excuse anything!" The grey-haired man snapped.  
"I apologize then." Tenn said weakly.  
"I don't need your bullshit apologies!" Gaku replied.

Gaku stormed out of the house. Ryuu gave him an apologetic glance then ran after TRIGGER's leader. Once again, Tenn was alone. Once again, that was his fault. He was glad he had taken Gaku's phone, even if it had come at the cost of Gaku's anger. Seeing his face twist into anger was not what Tenn wanted to see at seven in the morning. He sighed. He looked up at the ceiling, drowning in his thoughts. They were swirling around in his brain, banging at his skull. Tenn thought it was almost like a horrible orchestra, a constant cacophony threatening to overwhelm him. He was being pulled deeper and deeper into his thoughts. _Down, down, down,_ further into the darkness. Horrible thoughts he would never express to anyone, sweet words he would never dare say, surrounding him, embracing him, engulfing him entirely, enveloping and choking him. His thoughts turned to the messages he had read. He wondered how Gaku would feel when he saw them. Those words, meant only for Gaku, were now tainted by Tenn. Tenn almost felt like laughing, wondering if he would ever be forgiven for this. He felt as if he was falling endlessly into a cold, heartless black ocean. The tendrils of his thoughts pulled him _down, down, down, deeper, deeper, deeper._ He wondered if he would ever emerge again. The dark ocean had always been his cage, drowning him in a sickening black sludge.

He stopped caring. He fell into the deepest, darkest depths of his mind. He knew he would never come out now.

"Tenn!"

Tenn blinked, his vision blurry. The white ceiling greeted him, before being rudely interrupted by a blurry brown thing and a blurry grey thing. He felt something slide off of his chin. A droplet hit his finger. _Ah... I'm crying._ Tenn thought to himself. _How embarrassing..._

Tenn hastily wiped his tears, his vision becoming clear. Gaku and Ryuu looked down at him. Gaku glared at him, while Ryuu was looking at him with a passive expression. Tenn immediately identified that this was not a good situation. He tried to look at them with as much determination and confidence as he could. He would not be speaking to them about what they had seen. His groupmates stared back, matching his look with their own. The air grew thick and heavy with tension. Silence permeated throughout the room. Of course, Gaku was the first one to open his mouth.

"Oi. Brat."  
Tenn sighed exasperatedly. "What is it?"  
"What's wrong with you?" Gaku asked, irritation clear in his voice.  
"What do you mean?" Tenn replied.  
"First, I find you crying last night. Then this morning, you seemed really out of it. Then you stole my phone and looked at my messages with Tsumugi."  
"And?"  
"And, Tenn, when Ryuu and I came back two hours after I left, we find you sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling, crying."

Gaku and Tenn glared at each other. Both looked at each other with intense gazes and a petty determination. Tenn decided to make his win definite. He blew into Gaku's eyes, who, as predicted, immediately closed them. He smiled smugly at his defeated opponent. In a battle of wills, Tenn would have lost. However, in a battle of wits, Tenn would win every single time, as the idiot leader of TRIGGER had no wits about him whatsoever in Tenn's personal opinion. Gaku cursed loudly and started yelling about how that wasn't fair at all. Tenn tuned him out, shrugging nonchalantly. He kept his true emotions hidden. That didn't stop him, however, from staring at Gaku's handsome face and imagining what it would feel like to kiss him.

"So, why were you crying?" Gaku asked quietly, which was unusual. "Was it because of me...?"  
"No." Tenn lied easily. "It wasn't."  
"Hey Tenn, can we talk after work later?" Ryuu cut in, just as Gaku opened his mouth to speak again.  
"Sure." Tenn replied.  
"Let's go to work!" Ryuu enthusiastically said, pointing at nothing. Gaku joined him.

A warm feeling enveloped Tenn. He smiled slightly at the idiots that he couldn't live without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again guys!  
> Thanks for the nice comments on the last chapter!  
> I'm really glad that you're enjoying it, and I hope you continue to enjoy this fic.  
> With that said, here's the next chapter, which I got written really quickly compared to the last one...  
> Writer's juice does wonders (definitely not coffee)!


End file.
